different people have different norms in terms of initiating play, and refusing play. here’s some insight. fact is, it’s probably not nearly as complicated as it sounds:
some people, like myself, are fine with you coming and gently touching me, to see how i respond. if i smile, or moan, or reach out for you, then i’m nonverbally telling you that i’m fine with what’s going on. if i take your hand and remove it, or pull myself away, then it’s a way of telling you that i’m not interested, at least at the moment. let’s say you are someone i want to play with, but i really need a break, or i’m really involved with someone else at that same moment, then i might indicate - with a wink, or with words, that it would be good to get together later. if i don't want anything and just move away - well, hopefully you can take the hint.
if i’m with someone i don’t know, i find it best to start on a neutral part of his body - not going up to a guy and immediately grabbing his dick - but instead, perhaps touching something like his shoulder... and seeing how he reacts.
other people like to be asked with words before you initiate any sort of touching, contact, or activity. a simple “can i touch your back?” is the sort of thing that these people want to hear.
if someone says no, then you’ll need to take no as “no.” pressuring someone into doing something will inevitably get back to the host, and you’ll probably find yourself unwelcome at future parties.
this seems so obvious, but it should be stated here that all people are different and you can not assume that because one person at a party is into something, another person is as well.
recognize that people can change their mind, stop, or back up in play at any time. everyone has a right to control what he is doing at a sex party, and no one else can tell him otherwise.
bottom line: it is considered acceptable behavior to approach any man at a party. and it is also considered acceptable behavior for any man to decline an invitation.
it is NOT considered acceptable behavior to be disrespectful when declining an invitation. likewise, it is NOT considered acceptable behavior to persist if an invitation has been declined.
ok - i think i can do this. tell me more about ALL MALE PARTIES
wait - i'm like some other people, too. take me back to their concerns.
